Unwanted or wanted?
by CJ1872
Summary: I find the forbidden love between Jared and Wanda awesome, and how its wrong because of Melanie.But still -Jared's feelings...strange because all he wants is Melanie and Wanda confuses him... what will happen? will he betray Melanie? How will Melanie feel about this?-


**I think the desires for Melanie clouded his mind as Wanda was in his arms.**

**Set after Wanda and Jared snuck out to retrieve Cryotanks for the Seeker's Soul… **

**-My first Host fan fiction for Wanda and Jared- I love Ian so they still didn't have a big romance and love going on. They were seeing where it was going. :D**

**Honesty is always best, please leave reviews.**

**Wanda's POV**

Jared laid out a mat and a pillow telling me that he could only fit one in when actually quite a few could fit. I didn't question it. He even grinned when he saw my face looking over the small mat. He cleared his throat and started going through the clothes they used for raids. He pulled a short sleeved blue shirt and quite short shorts. He looked at the size and looked at Wanda and then smiled again. What was he thinking about? He handed the clothes to me but showed no sign of moving, I however was modest he definitely wasn't when I saw him pulling his shirt off and slowly… excruciatingly slowly did he look where the entrance was. I saw a faint smile on his beautiful face. What was he doing to me? Is he trying to get a reaction out of me? As he moved his hard muscles flexed and my mouth was open until he caught me and his reaction was a small laugh and a wink. What was he doing to me? Melanie definitely would rip me up from the inside if she witnessed my desire for his partially bare body. Wait… where was she?

"_Melanie! Melanie where are you? Mel… please don't be angry with me?"_

Where was she? Jared is making me feel strange and I'm nervous. I wonder if she's probably stuck herself to the back of my head and is sulking. She was not happy with my inner ramblings of my plan. She wanted her body back but we love each other to the point where we don't want to live without each other. She is going to have to deal with me sometime. I was giving her life back, her brother and the love of her life. I am giving her family back and what should be hers. I should be in the ground with my friends because I want to be. Where was she? As crazy as it sounds, I miss the annoying but beautiful voice in my head invading my thoughts with her.

"Wanda?" I was snapped back into reality.

"Yes Jared?" he looked me over and his face showed confusion… he was not great at telling if I was having an inner conversation with Melanie. He always asks.

"Here are your clothes, we have the entire afternoon and early evening to wait for nightfall, and we can sleep." He coughed and sat down. I held the clothes in my hand and was confused. Um… where does he think I should put this on? I looked over the mud-slide occurrence and it was just big enough to fit two vehicles comfortably without being seen and there was a small triangle on its side just in front of the car big enough for 3 people and Jared was lying by the front of the wheel close to this triangle type hole, and so the only thing I could think of was to be… modest was move to the hole and try and change as quickly as I could, when I saw him, I quickly averted my eyes but I saw his eyes stayed on me. Jared was definitely not subtle about it either so I got nervous really fast and didn't see but I tripped over a rock and hit my arm on the jagged part of the wall. I saw Jared's eyes quickly turn to serious as he quickly came to my aid. He held his hands out for me; serious but he did manage a stifled laugh. This was especially funny to him as I had my shorts around my ankles and my shirt around my neck. All I could do was sit there and stare at him. What was wrong with me? Oh Mel where are you?

"I am so sorry Wanda… I um… I shouldn't have stared. Are you alright?"

"Um… no it is fine… I uh… um I hurt my arm and I think my back." While I stood I didn't realize I was terribly exposed in front of him. He must have because he pulled my shirt over to cover my chest and cleared his throat and smiled at me. As I pulled my really short shorts on the belt moved hard over something really sore. "Ugh… ouch!" Jared came back quickly.

"What is it Wanda?" I turned around and saw red on my inner thigh, how did this happen? His eyes were scanning me and stopped at my leg; he again cleared his throat… I've been feeling that, that was his signal for being uncomfortable.

"I must have fallen harder than I thought, but I'm okay, don't worry… you can rest, I will tend to this with the medicine in the cabinet." I waved him off but his eyes burned brighter then, his hands were on my waist and I followed him to the mat where he told me to lie down. What was going to happen?

"Jared I am fine, it doesn't even hurt." Lie.

"You're lying, just lie back; let me get you some medicine. Stay still! It's really close to the femoral artery; it's a bitch when you get hurt there." He suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked back at me with his face in a grimace. "Sorry for the horrible language, I'm… I'm just worried." He's worried for me… and not for the body but for me. My heart skipped out of my chest and all I could do was smile.

He came back with Heal, No Pain, Seal and Smooth. He cleared his throat once more and I saw what he was having trouble with. The cut was deep but he knew that already, the cut was really high, almost to that dip in the leg just where my area was. This was a terrible situation.

"Wanda, carefully take your shorts off," WHAT? What did he want? "Here… let me help." He put everything he was holding down next to me and he looked me in the eyes and smiled, which calmed my nerves just a little bit. He put his hand flat on my thigh with his palm facing upward and slowing inches his way up into my shorts and lifted it, so the blood wouldn't smear and the cut wouldn't be disturbed. I watched him carefully, he was holding his breath.

**Jared POV**

When I saw her take her clothes off so quickly, I wished she would stop and do it slower. When I saw her fall I thought it was hilarious but her face wasn't showing humor, it was showing pain; that same face reminded me of when I struck her that first time. I never want to see that look on her face. I hurried over trying to be as calm as possible. She didn't seem hurt so I left her to her business but pulling her shirt over her chest to cover her made me ache inside. All I wanted to do was to hold her tight and kiss her into oblivion. Walking back to the mat was much more pain, I wished she wanted it too. But she looked absolutely terrified of the way I acted so I pushed her out of my mind. Melanie's body was my weakness. But she was not in there. This was wrong to think about how much I would hurt Wanda too if I let myself lose all the control I held on so tightly to. I watched the sun in the sky; high in the sky… this was going to be a long day.

"Ugh… ouch!" I heard her, she was trying to be quiet but I heard her.

"What is it Wanda?" I scanned her and when I followed her eyes to her injury I couldn't help but stare… if only I was allowed to do what I needed, what I desired to do. I swallowed too loudly for my comfort and all I could do was smile at her, holding everything else back. I saw the blood dripping down from the top of her inner thigh right where her… treasure was. God! Melanie I wish you were here, I want to save this soul from my desire.

"Jared I am fine, it doesn't even hurt." Lie.

"You're lying, just lie back; let me get you some medicine. Stay still! It's really close to the femoral artery; it's a bitch when you get hurt there." I stopped dead in my tracks immediately feeling guilt as fuck for swearing in front of her. "Sorry Wanda for the horrible language, I'm… I'm just worried." I rushed to the jeep and grabbed all the necessary medicine. I came back and was sweating; I hope she wouldn't notice I was really nervous enough. I scanned her thigh and realized it was much too high and she had to remove her shorts. "Wanda, carefully take your shorts off," I was suddenly excited for that second glance, "Here… let me help." A bit too eager I slowed down. I placed the back of my hand flat on her thigh… warm, making my arm hairs stand up- I moved higher and let my fingers slid underneath her shorts and I lingered I know but I really couldn't help myself. I lifted the shorts up so the blood wouldn't smear. I lingered again and I saw her this time watching me.

"You've made quite a mess Wanda, clumsy girl." Trying to lighten the mood, that's all I could do instead of getting on top of Wanda and having my way… with her. She laughed and said sorry and I said not to worry, that I don't mind.

She was now lying on the mat with no shorts on, I took her leg in my hands and it burned where it touched my skin. Dammit! I got to work on her leg and after it was finished, I put Smooth over the scar and caressed it slightly. I saw Wanda look at me and I could swear there was a redness forming on her cheeks. Did she like this: Oh I don't know! Why is this tearing me two ways; I love Melanie!

"Thank you Jared." Her eyes sparkled. Did I want Wanda the way I wanted Melanie, I think she is so sweet and her kindness is unlimited, her morals and her words and everything is pure, not that Melanie is anything less. Not at all, they are both beautiful, amazing women.

I kept my hand on her thigh.

**Wanda's POV**

His hand scorched my skin, as he sat there with his hand, with his fingers so close to the area I almost moved his hand upwards even closer. I wished he wanted to. Did he want to? Is that why he was acting so… sexual, is that even the right word?

"Wanda?" my eyes shot to his beautiful, beautiful, bright eyes.

"Yes Jared?" he seemed worried, he never ran out of words. Maybe he feels guilty for acting like this, for acting like this towards me.

"I uh… hm… I don't know how to form words right now…" he smiled and his eyes were still tight and never stopped looking at mine.

"You can tell me anything Jared… you know that." I decided to put my hand on his that was still on my thigh and held it there.

"Is Melanie there?"

"_Mel! Jared wants you! Jared wants to speak to you… Mel! Where the heck are you?"_

I couldn't look at him; I was scared he will be angry that his Melanie wasn't there! What do I say?

"Wanda?"

"Jared, I hate this but I can't hear her… I don't know what to do; she's been gone since we left. I am truly sorry Jared."

His eyes didn't move from mine but his hand did, I was afraid, what if he was going to hit me… like before. But that's not what I felt, his hand came to my neck and I was being pulled into him. His eyes never wavered. Only on mine; his lips touched mine ever so gently. He always tried to kiss us softly, but like before it never lasted. Once his touched mine they came down harder, his lips moving with mine fiercely, only giving me small gaps to take a breath. My hands went into his hair and held him firmly to me, my lips trying to keep up; he was now nipping at my bottom lip and his hand was on my inner thigh rubbing my leg and he even fiddled with my panty. I needed his touch; I was becoming excited. His other hand held my face to him, not letting me go. His hand was really close to my area and that made my panty wet, that's when I realized what we were doing. Jared's hand stayed there but he probably felt too afraid to proceed, I'm sure if he continued I would never have stopped him.

"Jared…" I put my hands on his shoulders. But I really didn't want to push him away especially when he had his mouth on my neck suckling and biting at it. Uh this was insane pleasurable torture. "Jared…" I pushed back, but I was struggling, he was almost on top of me loving my neck, down to my collarbone. I was on fire. But I had to stop; I couldn't do this with my best friend's guy. No! I couldn't but I _really_ wanted to. I pushed harder. "Jared… STOP! Please we can't… we can't do this."

Only when he had more force against him did he stop, I hated that he did, but I was becoming worried. Usually Melanie would barge in at this moment… where was she?

"Wanda, um… I am so sorry I don't know what came over me… I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me Jared, trust me… you didn't, um… I just feel really overwhelmed right now. You make me feel…. Dazed." This made him smile and I saw a twinkle in his eyes. What was this?"

"Wanda… I know this isn't fair to you; I… hum… I'm sorry."

He averted his eyes completely and it was on the ground. He passed me my short, when he did his hand was on my upper leg and I accidently let out a gasp. His eyes were on me suddenly. What was he thinking?

**Jared's POV**

Her lips felt so amazing on mine. I am actually kissing Wanda. And I liked it… but does that change the way I feel about Melanie?

My hand longed to touch her soft, now wet mound that was covered with only a thin layer of a white material that was quite sexy. But I kept my hand at a safe distance just in case she didn't want to. I wanted her so badly but I just didn't know how to make it happen. When we were in a fiery kiss she placed her hands on my shoulder; I thought she might make a move but I felt a nudge. Ugh I can't… maybe if I pretend… I felt her head fall back as I licked and sucked on her neck and she stopped nudging. But after a while she did it again and this time I moved back and realized I completely took advantage of her feelings.

"Wanda, um… I am so sorry I don't know what came over me… I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me Jared, trust me… you didn't, um… I just feel really overwhelmed right now. You make me feel…. dazed." This made him smile and I saw a twinkle in his eyes. What was this?"

"Wanda… I know this isn't fair to you; I… hum… I'm sorry." I felt stupid for even thinking this was going to work. Dammit, curse that body and that soul. I decided to keep it PG so I found her shorts and passed it to her numbly. I heard it so clear, quite loud as well. She let out a sound. And from experiences I've heard many of those sounds. That's the sound they make when they do want more. "Wanda did you say something?" maybe she would tell me what she's feeling. Her face was redder, and her eyes were on my hand that was still motionless on her leg, she seemed different, her breathing was still heavy and her face still shined red.

"Um… nothing… Jared… um… I, I am sorry about this… my head is now too mushed up." I had to laugh at that, she was really cute. What was going on?

"Did you mind me doing that?" I had to ask, I needed to know her answer, and I also moved my fingers ever so slightly so she feels comfortable.

I watched her compose herself, I was feeling humble. She swallowed quickly and nodded. I liked that answer.

"What about this?" I moved my hand slowly, lightly across her leg, and stopped at her hip bone. I loved her hips, bony but sexy. I loved this, I felt her breathing come quicker and she nodded again.

"What about Melanie? She won't be forgiving of either of us… I need her to forgive me before_" her eyes suddenly darted upwards. I looked at her and followed her gaze. The sun was still quite high in the sky.

"Does she hate me?"

"I told you, I can't hear her, or feel her presence. Maybe um…"

"What Wanda… please talk to me… I want to know what you're thinking." I waited, still moving my fingers over her leg closer and closer to the sweetness. I heard her gasp again and she did not cover it up.

"You make me feel fuzzy, but you don't feel… you don't care for me in that way… this is the body you love and you want Melanie to not be able to breath when you touch her there," she glanced at my hand, "you want her to say your name, you want her to grab onto you with so much passion and so much love its unbearable. You want her but I can't find her."

"Wanda, I do care for you, more than you think and I love Melanie, but I've grown to… to love you to and my feelings now say Wanda. Melanie will most likely kill me but she knows I would never do anything to hurt her." Maybe I was confusing myself; I don't even understand it.

"But you are by admitting what you feel about me, you are hurting her."

"I won't ever get to hold Melanie." I suddenly knew I shouldn't have done anything. I pulled my hand back and put my head on my arms and just breathed quietly.

**Wanda's POV**

My leg feels colder; his hand warmed me to the boiling point. I wanted that hand to move further, but I can't do this to Melanie.

"_Melanie! Please where are you, Jared needs you… he needs you! Do you not remember his promise! I swear, even though I'll feel something more for him if it happens. I will suffer that pain of being rejected by Jared for you. I will tell him." _no answer. Whatever Melanie, now I will do this!

"You would do this with me or Melanie? She really isn't in here, I don't know what to do.


End file.
